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Remember that every bad habit started in one of two ways:
1. As a response to stress and or fear at a time when we didn’t know how to cope with either of those in a healthy way.
Rejected, bullied or hurt children search for something to soothe them. Adults under pressure and stress also look for something that will take away the pain, if only for the short term.
2. As boredom, which creates its very own bad habits.
Boredom can lead to all manner of coping mechanisms, most of which are not healthy. The old saying “idle hands are the devil’s playground” does have some bearing. Boredom means finding something to do, something to keep us still when we want to go and do something.
If you’re between classes, or you finished a project at work and are waiting on a coworker to supply the next one, what do you do? Can you do “busy work”? Or are you stuck waiting?
When you’re stuck, and you want to do something, your brain looks for ways to increase your happiness. Eating is a good example. Or releasing endorphins that come from smoking is another.
Creation of Habits
Sometimes we’re coping with the fear of not belonging, of being laughed at or of being rejected. These are fears we normally learn as children and grow up learning, and practicing over and over. But for a child without social skills, this is something never learned. Instead, the bullied child might find another way of coping, like eating a cookie which immediately makes the child feel better. The brain then remembers that sugar is an easy alternative. Soon it associates sugar as the cure for feeling bad or alone or scared.
How to Change the Habit
Over the years, the reward of sugar may change into something else. In the self-image conscious teen years, that endorphin rush may change to the endorphins released by cigarettes, or the comfort of biting one’s nails.
The reward can change and alter. That means it can change again. The reward can be something that is beneficial to your health and not detrimental.
Alternative Rewards:
That’s when you need to use a different reward. A hot bath, yoga, a good book, go for a walk, take a nap. You can use whatever you enjoy and makes you feel better as an appropriate substitute.
Write It Down
Write it down, try to associate the reward with the trigger. Then, next time you find yourself craving something unhealthy, the alternative will come to you, and you can make an informed choice.
Don’t Expect Perfection
It’s ok to make mistakes, we all do. You only have to keep on trying, and you’ll get to where you want to be.